Vladmir came home
from work one day
and said ” I think I have the flu”
His wife said “Are you sure?”
“Maybe you have the Bulbonic Plague
or even Mayflower Pilgrims Scurvy too.”
He replied with a bit of increasing delirium
“You know I think that is Genetic, so seeing as
I am a Vladmir, I don’t think I do.”
“The Bulbonic Plague is quite Middle Ages impossible
And every morning I eat buttered toast and garlic with a cup of tea and lemon
so that makes the  thought of Mayflower Pilgrims Scurvy pretty remote too”
No, I think I will go lie down and not wake up dead with Dracularian flies
flying around my head because all I think I have is the flu.”
So keeping his mouth shut he went to bed
And nothing more was said
Because all he had was the flu.